The Blessings & Challenges of Motherhood

While I was growing up, I was often asked by adults, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer was always the same, I wanted to be a mom. Even in high school when all my friends were dreaming of becoming nurses or teachers or many other awesome things, I struggled finding a direction because being a mom had always been my wish. 

After Ryan and I were married we struggled to get pregnant. It took us two years to get our Koby boy here. I thought we were going to have to adopt and I was totally open to that. However we were blessed with a beautiful little boy who recently turned 17 (how time flies)! When Koby was a month old I wanted a candy bar very badly. I made plans to run to the store and grab one. As we got to the store Koby started to scream (in that cute new baby cry). I pulled his little body out of the carseat only to find that he had pooped all up his back. I didn’t think to bring extra clothes or even diapers . . . not cool! I couldn’t take him in the store screaming in that mess so I loaded him back in his seat and drove home without my candy bar. This was a turning point in my mind, the honeymoon was over, I started to see what motherhood was really going to look like. Before being a mom life was all about ME! If I wanted something I would get in my car and go get it. This past weekend I heard someone describe motherhood as being in control of a three-ring circus. I like that analogy.  

Helping our kids through good and bad days. Jumping through hoops, juggling all that they have to do on top of our list and walking on a tight rope while watching them in stressful or hard situations. I have five children and after I had each one I thought each of them would be just like the last, yet they are each so unique and individual. After my third baby was born I was so overwhelmed. I called my mom and she gave me the best advice. Be kind to yourself. Focus on the good and praise your older kids when they do something right. After I got off the phone I started focusing on the good and the contention and bad behaviors stopped. The kids were looking for attention and found it in the only way I seemed to give it to them. They were happier and so was I. 



I talked with a mother living in Syracuse the other day. She has five children ranging in age from nine to one. She had asked for family portraits for Christmas. She got them and loved one of all of her kids so much that she blew it up even bigger than her family picture.  She said, “Mothers of older children always tell me to enjoy these years because they’ll be gone before you know it.” She loves being a Mom, and loves her kids, but sometimes she feel like she’s just trying to survive. This picture reminds her that this time in her life, right now, is the time that she’ll miss someday, and to make the most of right now. Even when it’s not always easy, there is nothing she’d rather do than be a mom to her kids.

There are times when I think I have this mothering thing down and then everything changes. Holy Cow! It can be so hard! It is a constant state of learning and growing. Those things that make it all worthwhile are the hugs, the kisses and I love yous. The late night talks about their days and dreams, the game nights where everyone is laughing and having fun. The times where they help each other. I love being a mom. It is all that I wanted and more. I hope that all of you find this Mother’s Day a wonderful day.


My great grandma Mary Frehner loved this poem. It hung in her house and has been a favorite for all the moms in our family. 

My Mother says she doesn’t care,

About the color of my hair. 

Or if my eyes are blue or brown, 

and if my nose turns up or down .

My Mother says, “These things don’t matter.” 

My Mother says, she doesn’t care if I am dark or I am fair.

If I’m thin or if I’m fat—

She doesn’t fret over things like that. 

My Mother says, “These things don’t matter.”

But if I cheat or tell a lie, 

or do things to make folks cry. 

And if I’m rude or impolite and do not try 

To do what’s right, 

Then these things really matter. 

Its not looks that make things great—

Its character that seals the fate. 

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